‘My friend invites himself over for dinner and always comes empty handed’

A woman has opened up about feeling taken advantage of by a friend and not knowing how to handle the situation.

The anonymous mother, thought to be from the UK, turned to the Mumsnet parenting forum to seek opinions.

She revealed that her husband passed away 18 months ago, and she believes her friend might be trying to support her. However, this friend often visits her home, expects to be waited on during dinner, and never contributes food or helps with cleanup.

Many forum users weighed in on the post, with several suggesting she be clear in telling her friend to bring something or assist with cleaning.

In her post, she questioned, “Am I being unreasonable to expect a thank you when someone asks for an invitation to dine at someone’s home? If not, then help clean up after? I have a friend who comes over, and I’m a single parent to three girls, two teenagers (18,15), and a toddler (2). He visits for the company and the hustle and bustle.”

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She went on to describe her friend’s behavior, highlighting that he’s picky about food and disregards her rule about no phones at the table. He examines the ingredients in dishes, waits for someone to clear his plate, and even requests coffee after dinner.

Expressing her frustration, she wrote, “Writing this, I’m seething! I would bring something and definitely help out. I wouldn’t feel comfortable being served hand and foot when such a kind gesture was extended to me. Especially since he initiated the invitation! It’s just common courtesy. I’d at least do the dishes or bring dessert, something!”

The post ended with her mentioning that the friend is hinting at visiting again soon, and she’s torn because she dislikes confrontation.

She clarified that their relationship is purely platonic, and she believes he’s trying to be supportive after her spouse’s death 18 months ago.

Not knowing what to do about the situation, she then simply wrote ‘please help’.

Commenters on the forum offered their advice, suggesting she should ask her friend to bring dessert or wine next time.

One forum user replied with: “Say something? Can you bring a pudding and wine next time please.”

Another added: “Use your words and tell him to bring pudding for 5 next time or 2 bottles of wine or a cheese board. He is one cf! Get the kids to tell him no phones at table.”

Some advised her to communicate directly, while others recommended involving her kids to enforce the no phones at the table rule.

Some felt she should tell her friend to bring something or not be invited again.

Meanwhile a third wrote: “Grow some confidence and tell him in a friendly but direct manner that your bringing your kids up to see everyone is equal so he can rock up with things and help to tidy after or he’s not invited again.”

There were also more direct suggestions, with some urging her to distance herself from this friend or to stop inviting him over.

Some even questioned the nature of the friendship, suggesting that a true friend wouldn’t behave this way, with some even suggesting she cut him off.

One said: “I’d just distance myself from him he sounds like a right weirdo.”

Another forum user added: “Just be straight. If your coming for dinner please bring dessert or wine, flowers whatever you want.

“If he still doesn’t take the hint start withdrawing. You have your kids to think about. He is taking advantage.”